5 Books for Setting Better Boundaries

In an article written by The New York Times; Alex is featured given expert analysis on the topic.

Setting a boundary might seem like something we impose on others — cutting people out of our lives, or having them change their behavior — but the term is misunderstood.

Boundaries aren’t meant to control another person’s actions, said KC Davis, a therapist and author of “Who Deserves Your Love: How to Create Boundaries to Start, Strengthen, or End Any Relationship.” Instead, we set boundaries when we decide on and communicate our personal limits. And we reinforce them when we choose how we’ll behave accordingly.

Doing so, even in the face of pushback, can improve our relationships, Davis said. But that doesn’t make it easy, she added.

To help people enforce their limits in healthy ways, some therapists direct them to books. Cracking one open can “reassure readers that it’s OK to not immediately know how to do this,” said Alex Iga Golabek, a therapist in Stratford-upon-Avon, England. “It’s OK to try things out and see what works.”

We asked psychologists, therapists and researchers to share the books they recommend. These five titles offer insights and tools for safeguarding your needs.